Melissa and I have had to end our romance. Three thousand miles distance between us proved too much. We couldn't develop the daily fabric of a relationship that would be knit by our living in the same city. So, we couldn't let the relationship grow in ways unexpected. Our 'ideas' about what kind of long-term relationship each of us want remained too firmly fixed, little mitigated by real experience of one another. It was what Melissa called a "honeymoon relationship," in which our long-weekends and get-aways were just that, honeymoons. These were great--really great--but they didn't give us enough to work with over the long haul.
I would have liked to have gotten to know Melissa in a day-to-day way. Each time I saw her, I discovered more that made me curious. And I did feel my 'ideas' of what I want begin to give way in the face of what I was really getting, which was a lot--it was just more subtle and unexpected than I'd have imagined. My hunch is that if the distance had not been so great, my ideas would have bit the dust altogether.
We were at least good to each other. One best outcome of our affair would be to have trained one another to raise the bar for our next go-arounds with other people. We'd do ourselves disservice to accept less than what we got from each other.