Man alive. In my voice sessions, I more and more frequently find the big, clear, deep, bell-like center of my voice and hear suggestions of color that I don't hear elsewhere... especially on stage. Oh, the frustration! Doing Banquo outside, I'm not getting anything like the production or clarity I get in the rehearsal room. Christie Hernquist (Lady M.) and Brian Rooney (M.) can be heard clearly in the way that the rest of the cast is struggling for. The roof of my mouth is raw (though not the back, which is good), and I sound to myself as if I'm yelling at the bottom of a lake. And the less I say about 'nuance,' the better. I ain't gett'n none. Again, Christie is doing better than the rest of us. In fact, she's quite remarkable, especially since this is her first verse show.
The space we're working in is particularly difficult, I must add. It's big. It's outdoors. 'Nuf said.
Of course, this hasn't been a great day, all around. Today's voice session was a bit rough--it was odd, in fact, since my voice sounded GREAT but I couldn't find pitch to save my life. Also, I'm stinging a little from having lost a couple of parts in auditions lately, parts I should have been able to get (I was just the right type for one.)
What should I change in audition? Focus better. Make better, bigger decisions about objectives, work more quickly with impromptu 'as ifs,' and take a few frigg'n risks. The last part I think I should have gotten went to a an actor I consider to be weaker than me (in my hubris--what, me, hubris? You're shocked?), but he came in with a ballsy audition and sold the jokes. So, good on him. I gotta do my homework (yes, Neal, baby, I hear you--let myself breathe into where I am, and don't worry about 'stepping up.' The point is well taken.)
This weekend, between run-throughs, I'm getting to work on a business plan for PENDLETON. I have some ideas about what distinquishes Neal and I as a creative team, and will begin to jot them out as a blue print for researching and structuring our pitch and road map. I think we have something good in PENDLETON. Neal also wants to begin workshopping it soon, which is going to be a lot of fun, and deeply informative. The actor who plays a key part--Zach Sherman--is exciting on screen, Neal's a terrific writer, the theme is good, we get to horse around in eastern Oregon, I get to act, and learn how to put a film together. It doesn't reall get better than that. There now. I feel better already.
I'm also finding ideas coming in on me for a series of Bogosian-style monologues, at a friend's suggestion. I have a working theme and I may have a literary source to work from. I'll learn a lot and stretch myself by putting these on the page, into workshop, and on camera.