I continue to have trouble in auditions. This is becoming a greater problem as I find myself invited into audition rooms I wouldn't have gotten into just a year ago, to be seen by a few, top-of-the-market companies with whom, I feel, I will have only so many chances. My resume has been doing this for me, lately, though this latest callback DID come from my PATA auditions, so they had at least seen me work. Should I put off auditioning for theater companies working at a higher level than I have worked, so far? Maybe take Neal's advice to aggressively seek the spear carrier positions with these companies--while shunning principle roles--so that I can learn from them before I risk losing their interest? There's wisdom there.
But the temptation is so great to just go for it, or course, grab for the affirmation! And there's the trap in my actually having a smidgeon of good critical taste: I know what a compelling performance looks like, and knowing that, believe that I can produce one; but we all know the chasm that separates artists and critics, don't we?
My work in Neal's ongoing acting class has done a tremendeous amount to help me 'stay with myself' on stage, as I have so often noted, here; so much so that I do feel some genuine spontaneity and instinct beginning to kick in, especially in workshop, on camera some--especially in MADE CROOKED--and, more and more, on stage.... so, maybe--just maybe--I need to focus more on brass-tack audition skills, while keeping up on the scene work, too (to that end, I'll be checking out Sam Hull's commercial acting workshop, to round out a scene study class.) Maybe my audition ills are just that--audition ills--rather than signs of my limits as an actor. Maybe?
Does anyone else out there feel like this about auditions?
p.s. I'm also chewing seriously on pursuing an MFA with the focus on classical acting. You'll have any notes on that?
p.s.s. This post is about me trying to figure out my own process. I deny fully any reading of this post as a comentary on other actors' work (I'm really tired of getting hammered by readers for sweeping conclusions I don't think I've made. Really. Tired.)