My week in Chicago auditioning for MFA programs has taught me nearly as much as did my month at Shakespeare & Company. I've gotten feedback from auditors from programs across the country. It's consistant with feedback I've gotten from professionals in Portland. But, here, the context puts a fine point on it. The talent running these halls is incredible. Programs worth their salt are taking 1% of applicants. There is no room for apologies, second-guessing, hiding, posturing, stubbornness in the face of criticism, inability to laugh at your self, pride, dilletantism, lack of generosity, snarkiness, or any other amateurish bullshit. Period.
I know where I am as an actor and what I need to do to 'up my game' so that I can have a LORT theater career, which is what I want. An MFA may or may not be in the offing for this round. I'll live with that. I'll work harder and cleaner--get out of my own way more and more--and maybe find the kind of full-time training I want next time around, next year, if it doesn't happen now.
I'm a better actor today than I was four days ago. I'll take that.