I have regrets. I know they're real because they surprise me with their bite and tenacity. They're regrets (or sins) of acts both committed and ommitted. I don't think they're particularly harder for me to bear than regrets (or sins) borne by others but--and I don't like acknowledging this--I'm not particularly brave when faced with pain of any kind, physical, emotional, or spiritual. When I stub my toe, I feel it more than I probably should, out of sheer cowardice.
The regret that has grown largest for me over recent years is not having had children. It's crept up on me. Gnaws at me like unrequited love. And trying to accept that I probably will not have children in the future is like learning how to live with a terminal disease. But, of course, it's also a disease I've chosen, because learning to live with the cure would be worse; i.e., organizing my working life around economic security rather than.... No, what I was about to write is not honest, never mind. I don't trust protestations that pit "art" against "commerce" or "practical" life.... If one has the courage and passion of their convictions, they don't really collide.
This is a topic for further reflection elsewhere.
On a tangential note: Here's a tip for readers who contribute comments to this blog: rather than 'agreeing' or 'disagreeing' with ideas, observations, or confessions I might make, please try engaging with the substance of the ideas, comments, or confessions--testing them out, diverging from them with your own contrasting notions, debating them--anything but simply throwing up a conversation-stopping protestation of personal feeling. That's why I got so pissed off at Kenichi a while back, when he huffily discounted--without inquiring into my meaning, as other readers were polite or curious enough to do--my statement that "acting is transgression," (an inherently hypothetical statement that he seemed to think was a dicate I was making to the world because I used "is," rather than "sometimes, in my experience, could possibly be.")
Try to understand--rather than disprove--the ideas or feelings I share (unless they're truly odious, in which case, have at me.) Share your own thoughts. But spare your stances, which more often than not miss the point. You'll be glad you did, when the shoe's on the other foot.