Saturday, November 01, 2008

Looking for Release

My audition for Texas Shakespeare Festival was mediocre, though it may turn out to be 'enough.' It lacked juice.  Why?  One thing, I worked to hard to do it 'right,' and to minimize the 'Millstonisms'--odd gestures and quirky choices--that don't suit these pieces well, but I realize after the fact that some 'millstonisms' are actually selling points, not for all buyers, of course, but for those buyers who are buying them.

Another mistake I make is continuing to count on a permanent release of energy into my work; to wait for a tossing-away-of-inhibitions that I do, indeed, intermittently experience, but not with enough frequency to count on.  I'm in MFA training to build up my craft as a structure which allows me to toss away inhibitions, but I'm not there yet. 

(I am closer to this marriage of craft and instinct when I write than when I act, but not close enough to have been able to write the lyrical novels and screenplays swimming in the under pool of my mind, somewhere.)

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