Monday, December 22, 2008

"BANZAI!"

In allowing myself to entertain a move to Philadelphia I've discovered new clarity in the discovery that I'm seriously willing to move to Philadelphia (or any other sooty northeastern city):  I now know that I'm willing to plunge into a theater career with both feet.  Perhaps that sounds odd, as if that's something I might have known, already.  But, each step forward I've taken, so far, has been hesitant, experimental, not fully committed to following through to the next steps required on my road to a 'career.'  It's not that I've seen myself not doing theater and film, but I've not known how many of my marbles I was willing to throw into the pot.  I've been undecided about how to balance 'life style' with career.  Would I come back to Portland (where I have friends, family, and local career network) because I love living here, and then attempt to hash together a life in theater that would be some odd compromise between hobby and career?  Or, would I uproot myself for a more lengthy period of years--of unforeseen duration--to live in a more uncomfortable elsewhere in order to make theater truly a career?  I now know I'm going to do the later; that I have been doing the later.

And this knowledge is going to improve my acting, helping me to address the trouble spots in my performance to which I referred in a post below (summarizing the recently completed semester).  Having thrown all chips in, I now have renewed focus.  Nothing concentrates the mind like... fear of moving to Philadelphia without bloody good reason.  

Self-doubts about my ability as an actor are now moot.   Whether I'm terrible or brilliant...

... "BANZAI!"

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