I seem to have conquered my fear of auditions (at least for now.) Recently, I've found myself entering auditions confident and playful. Nervous, of course, but not terror struck, as has often been true in the past. I seem to have turned a corner. Why? I think because I'm learning to manage the uncertainty of auditioning by keeping several irons in the fire and sustaining my focus on independent creative projects, which are not subject to outside approval. I'm learning to plot my actions by triangulating the objects of my creative energies; an essential skill for a theater gypsy (or for any free-lancer).
Also: whereas in the past I was afraid that the kind of focus necessary for writing would turn out to be at odds with that needed for acting, at the moment, I'm finding them complimentary. They're different energies, but at least for now, they seem to re-enforce rather than undermine one another.