Tuesday, May 01, 2018

Cold Turkey on My FB Addiction

Now that I've closed down my personal page on Facebook, I need to migrate the mini essays that I came to love posting there, back to here. The original migration happened because I found that FB is where my readers lived: my audience there grew faster, and was more actively engaged, than it had been on my blog. And posting on FB often gave me the gratification of seeing that some people thought I was 'smart enough, pretty enough, and gosh-darn good enough,' for them to spend some online time with me. Posting on FB was like crowd surfing a grunge concert that was already rowdy long before you got by the bouncer, and will still be going strong after you're eventually kicked out. Posting here, on my 'blog,' is like playing putt-putt golf by myself on a midweek morning, when everyone else is at work.

But I had to get off of FB, for the foreseeable future. Although I made my FB 'brand' something like, 'I'm the guy who talks reasonably but honestly and passionately about the unreasonable things that upset us all,' I also was too often the guy who lost his online shit in embarrassing, unreasonable ways. E.g., I can't talk long about Israel and the Middle East before getting defensive about what I perceive as antisemitism, I completely lose my patience when talking to others who don't share my panic about attacks on free speech from both the political left and right, and I have a hard time hiding how appalled I am by the lack of critical thinking skills I see exercised by people I desperately want to do better (in my judgment). My occasional rants around these or related topics took too much energy and self-respect from me, and has become a distraction from more important work I need to be doing: i.e., the writing and acting prep on which I need to focus in order to sustain a career in theater and tv/film.

My years of writing on FB brought me new friends, repaired old relationships--as FB friends and I got to know each other better through sharing ideas and passions on the page--and helped my self-esteem through the positive feedback for my writing and thinking. I find leaving it behind difficult. The ready-to-hand conversation and positive reenforcement is addictive, but it's time.

Putting my time and passion into building a career is scarier than posting screeds on FB. But, here goes....

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